CRCF””6-21-09
Father”™s Day
How to Be a Powerhouse to Your Kids
Introduction””[Superman Dad slide]
When our kids are small, they just naturally think we”™re superman. But it doesn”™t last!
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.
(Pope John XXIII)
Dads, if we don”™t learn to do this thing by God”™s design, then our kids”™ lofty view of us will soon fade!
*The essence of Godly fatherhood is to flesh out God”™s grace in Jesus to our kids””NOT simply to give moral instruction.
HOW do you do that?
We need to be men like Jesus.
John 1:14-15””“So the Word became human and lived here on earth among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen His glory, the glory of the only Son of the Father.” (NLT)
1. Fathers, we must lead our children in the ways of Jesus both by example and by instruction.
Obviously, Dad””you can”™t lead your kids in the ways of Jesus if you don”™t know Him personally. (Gospel Appeal)
Ephesians 6:4””“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (NIV)
NLT: “Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
Ephesians 5-6 and Colossians 3-4 are Paul”™s instructions on how we should live in light of what Jesus has done for us. We”™re going to boil it down quickly this morning:
1. Focus on Eternity (Col. 3:1-4)
Show your kids what ultimately matters by your focus and priorities! Show them that the importance of obeying God and getting ready for eternity far outweigh running after career, money, and power here on earth””cause they just won”™t last!
2. Imitate God by Loving Others Sacrificially (Eph. 5:1)
Loving others””even those who are hard to love””to the point of inconvenience and personal sacrifice is the best way to demonstrate to your kids Who God is!
3. Kill Sin Continuously (Col. 3:5-9; Eph. 5:3-14)
This is really about loving Jesus, Who said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
Be a man of integrity who does his best to practice what he preaches to his kids! One sure-fire way to make sure that your kids don”™t respect you is to live as a hypocrite, never admitting your inconsistency. Your kids aren”™t stupid””they see right through your mask. So, we must kill sin every day. And when we ARE hypocritical in our behavior or words, Dads, we must be humble enough to admit it””to come clean with our kids. They will respect us all the more for it!
4. Put on Jesus/Be Controlled by God
(Col. 3:10-15; Eph. 5:15-6:9)
–In Marriage””Love their mother sacrificially, like Jesus loved you!
–In Family””Teach your kids to love you by obeying you””just like we love Jesus by obeying Him!
–At Work””Show the love of God on the job by working hard/honestly, or by treating your employees fairly and compassionately!
5. Talk to Others about Jesus”™ Ways/Teachings (Col. 3:16)
The message of God”™s grace in Jesus is what keeps us where we need to be. Let your kids hear you talking about Him. And show them the importance of the Body of Christ by being involved with a church family.
6. Represent Jesus in All You Do (Col. 3:17-4:1)
Make it plain to your kids that your whole life belongs to Jesus! Live wherever you are, whatever you”™re doing so that Jesus is honored!
The Message: “take them by the hand and lead them
in the way of the Lord.”
This includes BOTH instruction and example. Jesus certainly taught His disciples, as their Teacher. But He also modeled what He taught””He lived out God”™s ways in front of them.
2. Fathers, we must demonstrate the grace of Jesus to our children in how we relate to them.
Ephesians 6:4””“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (NIV)
The Message: “Fathers, don”™t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.”
NLT: “Fathers, do not provoke you children to anger by the way you treat them.”
Of all the aspects of being a father that Paul could have focused on, WHY does he warn fathers about provoking their children to anger?
a) Children naturally respond to authority with anger and rebellion.
Our kids don”™t want to be told what to do. Every child comes into this world ready to do their own thing and be their own boss. But God has made us fathers to be the authority figure in our child”™s lives. And there will be sufficient anger simply because we are dads and our kids are kids!
But, Paul also knows that . . .
b) Men naturally love having authority and don”™t naturally use
their authority with grace toward those under them.
For our children to experience grace and love from us as fathers should be our ultimate goal! That does NOT mean that we abdicate our authority. It means that we exercise our authority with the love/grace/mercy with which God “fathers” us every day!
Colossians 3:21””“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (NIV)
The Message: “don”™t come down too hard on your children or you”™ll crush their spirits.”
This doesn”™t mean we don”™t punish our children when they do wrong. In fact, sometimes our children need strong consequences because of the nature of their sin. But HOW we mete out discipline is extremely important. You know, even when God has to “take us to the woodshed”, He does so as our Father, with grace and gentleness””yet, firmly and clearly getting His point across!
Practically:
1. Work hard to show your children that you care about the details of their lives and want them to talk to you about everything.
1 Peter 5:7””“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.”
Deuteronomy 32:10-11””“He found them in a desert land, in an empty, howling wasteland. He surrounded them and watched over them; he guarded them as his most precious possession. Like an eagle that rouses her chicks and hovers over her young, so he spread his wings to take them in and carried them aloft on his pinions.”
2. Work on HOW you relate to your children””whether instruction or correction/discipline.
Think about the tone of your voice, your body language and the way you phrase your interaction with your children.
Psalm 103:8, 10-14””“The Lord is merciful and gracious; he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love . . . He has not punished us for all our sins, nor does he deal with us as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust.”
I”™m “in class” on this right now with my kids. I”™m learning how important it is to deal with my anger/aggravation and not let that come out in my relationship with the child. I”™m learning that “the medicine goes down a lot easier” if I don”™t raise my voice as much and carefully choose my words so as not to “push the child”™s buttons”.
3. Go out of your way to show your children that you love them unconditionally, all the time, no matter what by doing things for them that are particularly meaningful to each child.
“nor does he deal with us as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.” (Psalm 103:10-11)
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”
(William Shakespeare)
“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”
(Knights of Pythagoras)
For our children to experience grace and love from us as fathers should be our ultimate goal!
Conclusion””
“One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.” (Unknown)
Proverbs 14:26””“Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children.” (NLT)
Men””being a Godly father is NOT primarily about moral training, though that is a part. Being a Godly father is about incarnating God”™s grace””the Gospel””in your relationships with your children!
Dad, love your kids with the God”™s grace as you take them by the hand and lead them in the ways of Jesus!